Newborns Basic Needs

 A newborn baby has only three demands.  They are warmth in the arms of its mother, 

food from her breasts, and 

security in the knowledge of her presence. 

Breastfeeding satisfies all three

~Grantly Dick-Read

Babies are born with such basic needs. They need food, warmth, safety and comfort. The baby business industry would have a new mom feel inadequate. They push products and programs for everything from feeding to learning. A new parent can easily feel overwhelmed at the amount of marketing, disguised as information. Unless a woman needs to pump her breasts for medical reasons or to go back to work, it is not even necessary to purchase an expensive breast pump. 

Frequent nursing in the arms of her mother, spending time in her arms or sling and co sleeping all encourage the babies neuro development and growth. 

The time will come soon enough when her baby will venture out into the world. But for now, let her snuggle in the safety of her mother's arms.

Increasing Your Milk Supply

Making enough milk for your baby is a concern all new mom's face. While some could pump enough for multiples, many women find that their milk supply less than what their growing baby needs.

First: Determine if there is a real need for more milk.
Is baby gaining enough weight?
Is he/she eliminating appropriate for her age? 

Successful breastfeeding tips:

1. No artificial nipples! (no pacifiers, bottles, etc) for the first few weeks.
2. Rest. Making milk is a new mom's primary occupation, resting gives the body a chance to focus.
3. Hydrate. Drink a 10-12 ounce glass of water every time you nurse. Water in helps milk production. 
4. Herbal tea. Fenugreek, mother wort and red raspberry leaf  herbal teas can help increase milk production.
5. Nursing-In. Take an in house retreat, by taking baby to bed for 2 days, mom and baby naked from the waist up. Skin to skin contact, frequent nursing, extra fluids for mom, healthy meals and snacks, lots of naps for both can help restore a diminished milk supply.

Relax. Get help when you need it. Take care of yourself.

Affirmations for the Pregnant Mama

Maintain a positive outlook during pregnancy. Incorporate thoughtful meditation into your daily routine. Set aside 15-20 minutes to consciously relax your body starting with your head and working down your spine to your legs and feet. In addition to relaxing muscle groups, internalize positive mental images and messages that help you find your inner strength. Giving birth will take a woman on a journey that is both soul expanding and physically challenging. Most women do not know how strong they are until they give birth. Arm  yourself with affirmations that are reflective of positive beliefs regarding birth.

Here are some to start with:

1.  My body has an inner wisdom.
2. I am strong.
3. My body knows how to give birth.
4. My body is nourishing my child at this moment.
5. I have everything I need to birth my baby.
6. My body works perfectly.
7. I surrender to the power of birth.
8. With practice, I can learn to ride the contractions like waves.
9. I am already strong and capable.
10. My body is flexible and stretchy and fully equipped for birth.

Trust in birth. 

Believe in yourself.

Sex During Pregnancy

Sexual desire and needs change during the course of pregnancy. A woman can experience times of increased desire and low lobido, due to hormonal fluctuations and growing discomfort. Being in tune with your own sexual needs and feelings goes a long way in communicating this with your partner. Some couples are afraid they will harm the baby by enjoying an intimate encounter between the sheets. However, the baby is well cushioned and protected by the uterus and the amniotic fluid. It is best, however for the expectant partner to assume a position other than flat on her back.

Unless your doctor or midwife has warned against sex during pregnancy for medical reasons, it is not only safe but beneficial to both of you. The male hormones in the semen (prostaglandins) have anti-bacterial propterties and also stimulate slight contractions in the woman. This is beneficial as her body prepares for birth. Continued braxton hicks contractions (false labor) may also occur after orgasm, due to increased oxytocin production. All forms of sexual contact from kissing to cuddling can stimulate these false contractions, as well. In late pregnancy, some women experience a release of colostrum from their breasts as well.

Even though it is usually safe and healthy to continue enjoying sex during pregnancy, there are a few warnings.

1. No blowing into the vagina.
2. No sex after the amniotic sac has broken.
3. No sex if you have a medical condition such as the threat of miscarriage or pre term labor, until your medical caregiver gives clearance. 
4. Find a position where the expectant mom is not lying on her back.
5. Use a natural oil such as olive oil or almond oil for lubricant, if necessary.

Communicate your needs openly with one another. Be creative in loving  your partner and enjoying  your changing body.

Postpartum Self-Care

For nine months you have been taking care of baby by taking care of yourself. Eating healthy foods that include lots of protein, fresh fruits and veggies and whole grains and limiting your intake of processed foods and unhealthy snacks. You could feel good about your exercise sessions, knowing that in turn, you and baby would benefit when it came time for the birth. It was a two for one special, take care of you and the benefit is you also took care of baby.

Now that baby is here, everything has changed. Between changing diapers, midnight feedings, consoling her when she's lonely and hunting for a fresh outfit when the last diaper didn't hold up, it's easy to feel that there is little time for taking care of yourself. Mom care. After baby care, bill paying, cleaning, groceries and cooking where is there time to take care of yourself?

First of all, it's important to see the absolute need to care for yourself. You can't wait until baby is older to take care of your own needs. Learn how to adjust your new life as a mommy to include time for your own self care. When mom is taken care of, everybody is happier!

1. Eat like you're still pregnant. OK, you can cut down on the quantity a bit, but still look for healthy options and take your prenatal during the postpartum period and while breastfeeding. 
2. Exercise at least twenty minutes a day. Once you have your midwife/doctors clearance for exercising, get back into a good exercise routine. Start with familiar exercises like pelvic rocks and deep breathing. Avoid anything strenuous at first. A postpartum yoga routine can be helpful.
3. Chill for twenty minutes a day. Take some time to sit or lie comfortably and just focus on your breathing. Meditation/relaxation practice calms your nerves, lower your heart rate and raises your endorphins, those feel good hormones.
4. Do what you want. Once a day, do something you enjoy. It might be as simple as calling a friend, or reading a feel good fictional book, or inviting your neighbor in for tea and adult conversation.
5. Get out there, girl! Once a week (minimum) get out and see friends, go to the park, a museum, window shopping with the girls or lunch out with your sister. 
6. Write it down. Get a notebook or journal and write out your feelings, plans, dreams. Write down something positive from your day, as well as pouring out your heart on paper.
7. Keep meals simple. A little planning ahead before baby comes can help with this. A few weeks before your due date make double batches of your favorite meals and put them in the freezer. Gather simple ideas for meals that are quick and healthy. 
8. Go with the flow. Accept that not ever day is going to flow as smoothly as you had hoped and just "go with it." Accepting situations as they are is a good lesson in life and parenting in general.
9. Stay connected with your partner/spouse. He is probably tired, too. Eat together when you can, sit on the couch for a few minutes each day to cuddle and catch up on each others day. 
10. Join a mommy group in your community for social time that meets you and baby's needs. 

Remember, when you take care of your own needs and allow yourself to recharge before becoming depleted, you are also taking care of your baby by giving her a mom that is rested, healthy and happy. 

Childbirth Without Fear

“Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware … To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory. She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.” ~ Grantly Dick-Read 

This quote is from a classic book on childbirth, "Childbirth Without Fear." That was one of the first books I read when I was expecting my first child in 1984. I was 19 years old, scared and excited all at the same time. Fortunately, for me, I was surrounded by women who were experienced in natural childbirth, who were confident at breastfeeding, and very much "attachment parenting" type moms, although that term wasn't coined until later. They nurtured me into my childbearing years, showing me the way simply by their very presence. They let me live life with them. When my first beautiful baby was welcomed into this world by cesarean, they lovingly helped me breastfeed, and eventually helped me find my way to Bradley Classes and a doctor who supported VBAC. They mentored me, loved me, and created a safe place for me to ask questions. 

The quote above reminds me of those precious days, and how fortunate I was to have such dear friends. I don't remember which of them told me to read Dr. Grantly Dick-Read's book, but it had a profound impact on my view of birth. And, I must add, that I experienced that "spiritual uplifting", an empowerment like none other with my 5 VBAC's. 

Pregnancy Exercise for A Better Birth

Birth has been compared to running a marathon. It’s like waking up one day and realizing that you are going to have to run ten miles, like it or not. Even women in excellent physical shape will tell you it is a physical challenge like none other. If you signed up for a marathon, you would start training that day. Sitting around eating nachos is not going to get you there. Daily exercise, and a change in dietary habits are necessary to be ready.

Obviously, training for a marathon and preparing for birth are quite different.  Pregnancy exercise falls in two categories.

Aerobic exercise for stamina.
Focused exercise to target the back, belly, legs and bottom areas.


Aerobic exercise such as walking and swimming are popular choices for expectant moms.

Most women can find the time in their schedules to fit in a walk. If it’s been awhile since you have been out walking, start with ten minutes at a time, and slowly work up to doing thirty minutes a day. Wear supportive shoes, and drink plenty of water.
If you have access to a swimming pool, that is a great way to increase lung capacity and endurance. If you have not swam since becoming pregnant, start out with a kick board, or even just doing aerobic type exercises in the shallow end of the pool. One of the added benefits of being in waist deep water is how it takes the weight of the baby off your back and legs.
Try out a prenatal yoga class. In addition to the aerobic workout, you are increasing circulation and increasing flexibility and strength.
Focus on specific exercises to  tone and strengthen your back, abdominal, legs and birthing baby area.

Pelvic rocks. Assume a position where you are on your hands and knees, as if giving a child a piggy back ride. Tilt your pelvis so that you are rocking it back and forth. Your back should only slightly sag at the low point. It is similar to cat-cow in yoga. This tones the abs and strengthens the lower back muscles. Many women find this to be a great way to deal with low back ache in labor, too.
Squats. With feet shoulder distance apart, or more, hold on to your partner or heavy piece of furniture. Slowly bend your knees, dropping down into a full squat. It is important to keep your knees over your feet. Try to keep your heels on the floor, as well. When coming up, come butt first, with your hands on your knees. Be careful to not lose your balance. Squats help stretch the perineum (baby birthing area), and the muscles in your legs. This position opens the pelvis, allowing more room for the baby to move into the birth canal.
Kegel’s. This exercise can be done sitting at your desk, riding in the car, or while walking the dog. Simply squeeze the muscle that you would tighten if you were trying to “hold it” until you could get to a bathroom. Hold this muscle for a count of ten. Release, repeat. Doing kegels helps strengthen the pelvic floor, which helps during the birth. One of the many benefits is better sex. That’s a great reason alone!
These are my all time top three favorite pregnancy exercises. Be careful, using common sense when doing these or any other exercise. Do not get over heated or terribly out of breath. Stop immediately if you are dizzy, have sharp pain or have pain. These should not hurt. Consult with your health care professional before attempting these exercises.

Birthing is active. Get your body in shape for the birth-day marathon!